Before you plan your year, stop and ask: Who am I becoming?

 

January has a way of rushing us. New goals. New calendars. More pressure to optimize everything that didn’t go perfectly last year. Leaders are especially vulnerable to this. We are wired to move, fix, decide, and drive momentum.

 

But here’s the truth that rarely gets said:

You can build a brilliant plan and still be out of sync with yourself.

 

And when that happens, no strategy will save you from the slow frustration of chasing goals that no longer fit who you are becoming.

That’s why I believe the most crucial leadership move at the start of any year is not goal-setting.

 

It’s getting clear with yourself.

 

Why Identity Comes Before Strategy

 

Most leadership models begin with vision, execution, or performance metrics. Those matter. But they only work when they are anchored to identity.

 

If you don’t understand who you are, or who you’re becoming, your goals will default to:

• Who you used to be
• Who others expect you to be
• Or who the culture pressures you to perform as

 

None of those will hold.

 

When identity is unclear, leaders often find themselves doing impressive work that feels oddly disconnected. They hit milestones but feel restless, achieve more but enjoy less. And grow outwardly while shrinking inwardly.

 

That dissonance is not a motivation problem.

It’s an identity issue.

 

The Risks of Skipping Self-Clarity in Leadership

 

If you skip this internal check-in, three things quietly happen.

 

First, you chase approval instead of alignment. The goals look good on paper and sound impressive. But they aren’t anchored in your values.

Second, you overcommit. When you’re unclear on who you are, everything feels urgent. Boundaries blur. Exhaustion follows.

Third, you confuse movement with meaning. Activity increases, but fulfillment decreases. The calendar gets full while the spirit runs thin.

 

It doesn’t dramatically fall apart overnight. It fades slowly.

And that makes it harder to catch.

 

The Question Most Leaders Avoid

 

There is one question that almost always creates a pause when I ask it in coaching sessions: Who are you becoming?

 

Not your title, your goals, or your five-year plan. Who are you becoming as a human being? It stops leaders in their tracks because it can’t be answered with metrics—only honesty.

 

And for some, it’s hard to answer at first. But when they do, it surfaces things like:

• I’m outgrowing the standard of success I once pursued
• I want more peace, even if that means slower progress
• I crave impact that doesn’t require burnout
• I’m tired of proving and ready to live

 

That clarity is transformational.

 

How to Practice Identity-First Leadership

 

Starting with yourself does not mean abandoning ambition. It means refining it. Here are a few grounded ways to practice identity-first leadership as you enter a new year:

 

• Ask better questions before setting goals. Instead of “What should I achieve?” try “What kind of life am I actually trying to build?”

• Let discomfort be data. Unease often signals misalignment. Don’t rush to silence it with busyness.

• Audit your motivations. Are your goals driven by purpose, fear, habit, or expectation?

• Name what no longer fits. Outgrowing something does not invalidate what it once gave you. It simply means you are changing.

 

This isn’t self-help. It’s leadership.

 

What the Research Confirms

 

Self-awareness is both a personal growth concept and a leadership competency.

 

According to the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL), self-awareness is “the cornerstone of effective leadership,”  yet it is often underdeveloped in senior roles. Their research shows that leaders who cultivate self-awareness are more trusted, more effective, and better equipped to adapt in complex environments. You can explore more about self-awareness from the CCL here.

 

Recent scholarship adds weight to this. A 2024 scoping review in Emerald Insight’s Journal of Leadership Education found that leadership identity development is inseparable from meaning-making, the process of making sense of experiences. The authors note that “a leader’s self-identity is essential to leadership development because it organizes knowledge, motivates engagement, and provides cognitive resources such as stories or core values.” 

 

In other words, identity clarity isn’t soft reflection; it’s the foundation of sustainable leadership.

That matters because leadership is more than execution. It’s also alignment. When who you are and how you lead are aligned, people feel it:

• Trust deepens.
• Decisions sharpen.
• Culture stabilizes.

 

And it’s not easy.

 

Why This Work Feels So Uncomfortable

 

Self-clarity slows you down just enough to feel. And many high-capacity leaders are more comfortable producing than feeling.

Feeling requires stillness.

Stillness requires honesty.

Honesty requires courage.

 

It is far easier to set a dozen goals than to sit with one uncomfortable truth about yourself. But only one of those paths leads to alignment.

 

You cannot out-strategize a misaligned life.

 

The Kind of Leadership the New Year Requires

 

This year will ask many things of leaders. Adaptability. Discernment. Emotional regulation. Ethical clarity.

But before it asks anything from your skill set, it will ask something from your inner life. Who are you:

• Under pressure?
• When no one is watching?
• When the metrics look good, but your body feels tired?

 

Who do you need to become to achieve what truly matters? The answers shape everything that follows.

 

A Way to Begin

 

Articulating a clear direction is important, but you do not need a perfect vision statement.

You do not need a word of the year yet.

You do not even need a complete plan.

What you need is one honest starting point.

 

Here are three simple identity-first questions to sit with this week:

• What feels misaligned in my life or leadership right now?
• What do I no longer want to build my identity around?
• What kind of leader do I feel called to become?

 

You do not have to answer them quickly.

You only need to answer them truthfully.

 

Leadership Identity Is Not a One-Time Decision

 

This is not a January-only exercise. Identity evolves. It sharpens.

It sheds layers.

 

Starting with self simply means committing to check in before charging ahead. It means choosing alignment over autopilot. Then your goals become expressions of who you are becoming, not distractions from it.

 

And that is the kind of clarity most leaders skip.

But it is also the kind that changes everything.