In a world where we’re more connected than ever, why do so many of us feel disconnected? It’s easy to confuse having a large number of followers or connections with having a strong network. But there’s a critical difference between knowing many people and building meaningful relationships that matter.

As of this writing, I have 20,600 followers on Instagram. That might sound impressive, but it pales in comparison to Cristiano Ronaldo (Portuguese professional footballer), who has over 636 million followers. He has more followers than any individual on Instagram. Yet, what does that number really mean? How many of those connections translate into genuine relationships that can offer support, opportunity, or personal growth?

The Illusion of Connectivity

With the rise of social media, many of us boast hundreds, if not thousands, of connections. But how many of these connections are truly meaningful? We often chase likes and comments, mistaking them for real engagement. However, these fleeting interactions rarely develop into deep, impactful relationships. According to Dunbar’s research, our brains can only maintain about 150 stable relationships. While having a vast network might seem advantageous, the reality is that our capacity for genuine connection is limited.

Research by Zippia found that while 95% of professionals agree that face-to-face connections are essential for successful long-term business relationships, only 48% report that they actually keep in touch with their network. These statistics highlight the challenge many face in transitioning from a broad network to one that is truly valuable and sustainable.

I’ve learned this firsthand. For years, I focused on expanding my network, attending events, and connecting with as many people as possible. But over time, I realized that the relationships that truly mattered were few and far between—those built on trust, shared values, and mutual support. One such connection was with a colleague from my time at Microsoft. Even though I left the company in 2011, he still calls me every year on my birthday. Those brief conversations remind me of the power of deep, intentional connections.

The Importance of Genuine Connections

There’s a well-known saying, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know.” While there’s truth in that, in today’s knowledge-based economy, what you know matters. And it’s equally important to consider who truly knows you. Genuine connections go beyond surface-level interactions. They are built on authenticity, vulnerability, and a mutual understanding of each other’s values and goals.

Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone, emphasizes this: “The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity.” In other words, authentic relationships are built on mutual giving and trust, not pursuing what one can gain from another. This approach transforms networking from a transactional activity into a meaningful exchange that benefits both parties.

Consider this: people are more inclined to support, recommend, and collaborate with those they know, like, and trust. That’s why building deeper connections is equally essential for professional success and personal fulfillment. Those relationships will stand the test of time and help you navigate life’s challenges and opportunities.

Building Deeper Connections

So, how do we build deeper, more meaningful connections? It starts with being intentional about who we connect with and how we nurture those relationships.

Here are a few strategies that have worked for me:

1. Quality Over Quantity: Build relationships with people who share your values and interests. A smaller, more engaged network is far more valuable than a large, disengaged one. Instead of spreading yourself thin across thousands of LinkedIn connections, prioritize a core group of people you can count on for advice, support, and collaboration.

2. Regular Check-Ins: Make it a habit to check in with your connections regularly. Whether it’s a quick message, a phone call, or a virtual coffee chat, these small gestures go a long way in maintaining relationships. I’ve found that even an annual check-in, like the one from my former colleague, can keep the connection alive and meaningful.

3. Be Genuine: Authenticity is the foundation of any meaningful relationship. Show genuine interest in others’ lives and be willing to share your own experiences, challenges, and successes. Vulnerability fosters trust and deepens connections.

Putting Yourself Out There as an Introvert

As an introvert, I understand how challenging it can be to put yourself out there and build connections. People are often surprised when I tell them I’m an introvert, but it’s true. I enjoy meeting people and forming connections, but it can drain my energy.

If you’re an introvert like me, here are some strategies that might help:

1. Start Small: Begin with one-on-one interactions rather than large group settings. These more intimate conversations are less overwhelming and often more meaningful. If you find yourself in a larger group, allow a more extroverted friend or colleague to make introductions.

2. Prepare in Advance: Before attending events, think about conversation topics or questions you can ask. Also, consider what you want to share about yourself. This preparation can ease anxiety and make interactions smoother. A great introduction statement never hurts, so I’ve created a cheat sheet to help you craft up to ten concise statements to communicate what you do and offer.

3. Leverage Online Platforms: Use social media and professional networking sites to start building relationships. For many introverts, these platforms offer a less intimidating environment for connecting with others.

4. Embrace Your Strengths: If you’re an introvert, you likely excel in deep, meaningful conversations. Use this to your advantage. Focus on building a few strong connections rather than many shallow ones.

Virtual vs. In-Person Connections

Before the pandemic, only 17% of Americans worked from home, but now that number has increased by 27 percentage points. While virtual connections have become a staple in our lives, especially with the rise of remote work, they are not a complete substitute for in-person interactions.

In-person meetings allow for more fluid conversations, easier collaborative brainstorming, and the opportunity to build stronger relationships through subtle body language and organic interactions. According to a study by Stanford University, virtual interactions can reduce certain aspects of conversation, such as turn-taking, which can affect the overall quality of the interaction.

As leaders, it’s imperative to find a balance between virtual and in-person interactions. While remote work offers flexibility, occasional in-person meetings can help strengthen team bonds and foster a sense of community. This hybrid approach can leverage the best of both worlds, ensuring that connections remain strong and effective.

Summary

In today’s hyper-connected world, it’s easy to get caught up in the numbers game—how many followers, connections, or likes we accumulate. But true success, personally and professionally, comes from the depth of our connections, not the breadth.

So, I challenge you to reflect on your network. Are there people you’ve been meaning to reconnect with? Perhaps someone who’s had a significant impact on your life or career? Take the time to reach out, nurture those relationships, and invest in the connections that truly matter.

Your future self will thank you.